fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
