I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
