so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
