she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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