Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
