I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
