I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
