so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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