i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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