I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
