i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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