She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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