i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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