i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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