her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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