Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
