This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
BRING THE BAGELS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
