YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
