After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am midnight drunk by noon
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
