I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
