Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
