he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is my gift to your gina
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
