Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
