office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
