I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize