Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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