ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
