you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
