We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
