who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
