My friends, they love my intelligence
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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