Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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