He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
