we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
4 words: hood of his car
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
