is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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