the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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