A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
