yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
