woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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