But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
