Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
