How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
