i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
