I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
