Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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