We won't sleep together?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We're too hungover to prance.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
