I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize