do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
