Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
