New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
