what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
