You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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