No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
