This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
