Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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