There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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