He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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