I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
