I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
