paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
