I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
