I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
