ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize