Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just blew my weed a kiss
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
